How often were you at a party, stuck between a tray full of wine & your will to tone the booze down a notch for a while? With December’s excesses still in the rear mirror & Dry January pumping on social media, many of us are suffering the “I want to but don’t know how to” syndrom. Legit! Because if drinking is the cool kid, is not drinking… lame? Reasonably, we all know it’s not. Enjoying the perks of a sober lifestyle is actually pretty awesome. But until we can all publicly agree that it is, we thought we’d share with you some of our team’s most relatable excuses to decline a glass of alcohol while we wait for you to share yours! Enjoy.
1. “Sorry, I have Covid”. Sammie, Product Owner
Mmm first of all, Sammie, what are you doing at a party? Also, Covid only works if you decline going to the event altogether…Isn’t there a way you could still bless the party with your presence while having a glass of GIMBER instead of an alcoholic drink? The answer is in the question, dear Sammie. So don’t try your karma & explore your zero-proof options, ‘cause there are plenty!
2. “Oh I would, but I’m pregnant” - Maroussia, HR & Payroll Officer
Good one! Except your boyfriend has no clue, does he, Maroussia? Spare yourself the embarrassment of spreading some fake news and tell it like it is! Yes, you have decided to cut back on alcohol and yes, it’s made you feel brand new! Remember that there’s nothing more enticing than real talk and your reasons to take a break from drinking are 100% valid. Own it, girl!
3. “I have to work early tomorrow” - Ralph, Warehouse Manager
Spoiler alert: that’s a lie. Ralph just wanted a mocktail. But as many of us, he felt that wasn’t enough to convince his friends he was perfectly fine…Mmm, about that, here’s a thought: if not drinking makes you feel good, you’re better off sharing the benefits of a sober lifestyle with your friends rather than giving them a reason to call you old and not fun…Boom!
4. “Sure, I’ll have a glass” (but I won’t drink it). Lore, International Business Developer
What’s a good way to not have to argue your choices with other people? Keeping them to yourself! That’s exactly why Marie will always grab that glass of bubbles and walk around the party holding it with a tense hand, but not drinking it. Sure, faking it is an easy getaway but please, don’t undermine your values in the process, and, also, give yourself a hand massage when you get home.
5. “No can’t do, I’m training for the marathon”. Joris, Customer Success Manager
Oh oh, beware! Telling people you’re on a training schedule usually comes with a tsunami of personal requests for advice on how to get healthier.What’s ironic here is that telling them how to get healthier is actually up your alley. Because you’re not drinking! And that’s just as valid a gesture towards better health as training for the marathon.
6. “Oh no no, I’m taking antibiotics”. Anonymous, (too embarrassed to say)
Oh really? Why did you take it? Are you not feeling good? What exactly are you feeling? Did you get tested at least?... See where this is going? Make sure you have a solid story backing up your imaginary illness & get ready for suspicious side looks and people avoiding you all night. If you’re an introvert, bingo! If you’re not though, you just secluded yourself for no good reason…
7. “I’m trying to lose weight so I reaaaally can’t” Sophie, Copywriter
Mmm that excuse would have stood a chance if advocating for body positivity wasn’t all over your Instagram, Sophie! Looks like now, you’ve lost credibility AND your right to nibble on the finger food. Hadn’t seen that coming, had you? Next time, be real and don’t get punished for wanting to do something good for yourself.
Whether you’re zero-proofing for a night or forever, telling the truth about your alcohol-free journey will save you a lot of trouble. To avoid drinking, we invoke reasons that have everything to do with health, without actually acknowledging that sobriety is health. So, forget about trying to be cool, ‘cause you already are. For making choices that are not obvious, for swimming against the stream & for choosing GIMBER as your alcohol-free entertaining drink on an entertaining night.
Now, what’s YOUR story? Head over to our Instagram & Facebook page and tell us what your go-to excuse is when you feel for a break from booze.